Johnny Jump Up

I'll tell ye a story that happened to me
One day as I went out to Youghal by the Sea
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm
Says I, A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, I'm sorry all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or Paddy, ten years in the wood
Says I, I'll try cider, I heard it was good

Oh never, oh never, oh never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a jar of the Johnny Jump Up

The next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea
Was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me
I'm afraid o' me life I'll get a belt of a car
Won't you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar
After drinkin' a quart of the cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet
So we ordered two more and a toast we drank up
To the world's finest doctor, old Johnny Jump Up

Sure after a while sure I felt well enough
So says I, Fill another, that cider's great stuff
After drinking the third, sure I made for the yard
And I bumped into Brophy, the big Civic Guard
Come here to me Mac - don't you know I'm the law
I upped with my fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell on his back with his toes turned up
But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas the Johnny Jump Up

I was brought up in gaol for being drunk on the street
After two pints of porterI was out on my feet
Said the guard testing me, Say these word if you can
'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'
When I managed that fine sure he asked me to state
that 'I rattled my bottles outside Malachy's gate'
But the 'British Constitution' fairly bottled me up
And I got fourteen days without Johnny Jump Up

I went up the Lee road a friend to see
They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee
But when I got up there, I don't like to tell
They had the poor sod sore tied up in a cell
Says he, Hello Jordan, to see you I'm glad
Tell 'em I'm not crazy, tell 'em I'm not mad
All that I had was a slug from a cup
Of that lunatic soup they call Johnny Jump Up

A man died in Cork Union by the name of McNabb
We washed him and we laid him outside on a slab
O'Connor came up then his measure to take
And his wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high
The corpse he jumped up and says he with a sigh
No I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up
Till I bring them a jug of th' old Johnny Jump Up

So come all you young fellows and ladies as well
Beware of that stuff that they brew in Clonmel
For God only knows whether you'll wind up
In a madhouse or gaol after Johnny Jump Up

(as sung by Jimmy Crowley)

During the Hitler war, rations and restrictions were an everyday event. In the best spirit of recycling, Bulmers of Clonmel stowed a new run of cider in old wooden whiskey barrels not realising that a delicious intercourse between the fresh young cider and the slumbering spirit would ensue. This is the original version given to me by its author, Tadhg Jordan of Cork. Another story goes that Tadhg wrote the song to secure the threatened job of a friend who worked for the famous brewery. Sales soared evidently after the success of the song and subsequently the post was saved! (Jimmy Crowley, notes 'Uncorked!')

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