The Non-Union Worker Cooking Primer!
...On to the Recipes!
Krasny's Terrific (Anti-Taco Bell) Tacos
1 1/2 - 2 pounds ground beef (lean)
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 medium yellow onion
About 40 cloves of garlic; chopped
2 tablespoons House of Tsang Mongolian Fire Oil
1/4 cup Lancer's rose wine
4 - 6 tablespoons fresh salsa (Hot)
2 tablespoons La Victoria Salsa (Hot)
3 tablespoons crushed red pepper
4 tablespoons chili powder
Salt and black pepper
2 tablespoons A.1. Thick and Hearty steak sauce
2 tablespoons lime juice
First, arrange to be born to a First World bourgeois family... that enjoys eating tacos(!). Otherwise, Organize a Union Shop before attempting this recipe.
Once you've done that, the rest is relatively easy. Open the Lancer's and pour yourself a glass. Mince the parsley, onion and garlic and place into seperate piles.
Next, brown the ground beef with the parsley in a large (16 inch)skillet on high flame. Drain the fat. Be sure to break up the ground beef with a fork into small pieces. Then arrange the ground beef in a circle around the edges of the skillet with the center section clear. Add the Mongolian fire oil in the center. Add the onions and garlic to the fire oil and stir for approximately 1 minute. Add the 1/4 cup of Lancer's. Mix in with the ground beef. Add crushed pepper and chili powder and dashes of salt and black pepper. Mix.
Add the fresh hot salsa, La Victoria, and A.1. steak sauce. Stir in well and cook on high until the meat is moist, but not wet (do not over-brown the meat). Reduce to simmer. Next, add the fresh cilantro and mix into the meat. Sprinkle in the lime juice. Mix... and you're ready.
Serve in shells (preferably fresh-fried in a deep fryer with canola oil) with grated cheddar cheese, lettuce and jalapena sauce. Serves 4 - 6.
"Krasny... I'm working for __________ and living in a mobile home. How can I afford to make these Terrific Tacos for my family?"
The first step in every Krasny food-of-love venture is Forming a Union at Your Work-site to give you the means to achieve each and every culinary delight listed here. On average, union workers earn one third more in their paychecks than their nonunion brethren. That's why we say, "It doesn't cost to be Union... it pays."
"Krasny... if these Terrific Tacos catch on, won't that put Taco-Bell out of business and lead to an increase in unemployment?"
To which I say, in the words of comrade Lenin, "If you want to make an omlette, you have to crack a few eggs." If my Terrific Tacos recipe succeeds in ridding the world of that grotesque little troll-like chihuahua, then the needs of the many will be served. Besides, all those Taco-Bell workers can (and should) produce and sell these Terrific Tacos for themselves and in fact I heartily encourage just such a collectivist approach to the dilemma.
But Krasny... I don't eat meat. Is there a vegetarian version of your Terrific Tacos?"
No. But perhaps, some intrepid Leftist vegetarian will happen in and email me his/her favorite recipe for the Krasny treatment.
Krasny's Bodacious Bourgeois Butter Cookies
4 cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour
1-1/2 cups Land O' Lakes butter
1/2 cup C&H pure cane sugar
1/4 cup Korbel's champagne
Red and orange coloured sugar sprinkles
Once again, arrange to be born to a First World bourgeois family. Otherwise, in the alternative you can Organize a Union Shop. I cannot emphasize the importance of this step enough.
Next, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, in a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, butter (melted), sugar and champagne. Pour yourself a glass. Then, mix with a fork until a dough forms. Knead the dough for a couple minutes until firm. If the dough seems too damp, add a little flour; too dry and flaky, add some more butter.
Next, take out clumps of dough and roll into a ball the size of Rush Limbaugh's brain (a small walnut). Place the ball on an ungreased cookie sheet and smash down with the top of the Korbel's cork. Edges should be rough hewn yet firm. Repeat for entire cookie sheet. Then add sprinkles in red and orange yin-yang pattern throughout the center depression (sprinkle liberally). For the truly inventive, make impressionistic representations of hammers and sickles with the coloured sugar. Bake on the center rack for 24 minutes (your time could vary) or until edges are a light golden brown. Yields 24-30 cookies.
Now I frequently get asked, "Krasny, do I have to use Korbel's champagne? Couldn't I just make do with beer?".
You owe it to yourself comrade to form a Union and start enjoying a few of the good things in life for yourself and your family... and lest we should forget, Haitians and workers of all countries must join in the struggle to make the world safe for Krasny's Bodacious Bourgeois Butter Cookies. Remember, in the words of comrade Bakunin, "Freedom is merely privelege extended, unless enjoyed by one and all."