Questions and answers

These great questions and answers are from the
days when the "Hollywood Squares" game show
responses were spontaneous, not scripted as
they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking
the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at
least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep.
Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you think that he is
attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him
if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish
as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words
to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more
or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing
old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture
you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
subjects at nudist camps. One is politics,
what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom
or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always
safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag
his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would
you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything
wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a
lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of
your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it
certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible
for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
believes in them and has actually seen them on
at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things
you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!!!

Return to

Palace of Culture.