A MAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN
I need = I want
We need = I want
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later.
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper.....
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade.
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
Palace of Culture.