A MAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN

I need = I want

We need = I want

Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later.

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper.....

I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade.

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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